Can I Have Sex in My Relationship if We Don’t Want to Get Married?

Question: “What am I supposed to do regarding sex in my relationship? We have a strong need to be close, and we are only human. Are we supposed to refrain since we don’t want marriage?”

Holding-HandsShort Answer: Yes. You have to get married if you want to have sex.

Long Answer: Yes, you are to refrain from sexual immorality. The disciple of Jesus Christ should desire to obey God. The Lord gives us two options when it comes to marriage.

First, no marriage and no sex.

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”-1 Corinthians 7:1

Second, marriage and sex.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.-1 Corinthians 7:2-3

It is that straight forward.

Now I understand that we do not value marriage as we should today. This is because we demean men and women to near animal status. Correction, often we value animals more.

Men and women should place more value on sharing their flesh. After all when a man and women are sexually intimate they become one flesh and they share heart and soul. We should protect these things and treat them as precious and valuable. Human sexuality should not be given to the profane, rather it should be holy, separate.

If you truly value the person you share your flesh with, shouldn’t you commit the rest of yourself, the arguably less valuable parts of your life, to have and to hold until death do you part?

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2 Responses to Can I Have Sex in My Relationship if We Don’t Want to Get Married?

  1. Shannon

    January 14, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    So for those like me and my partner, we won’t get married as it would provide a financial burden cutting our income by more than half. But he has 3 kids from a previous Mara get and I have four kids from a previous marriage. So cutting our income that drastically with 7 kids would make it literally impossible to survive as we struggle now as is as all 7 of our children are special needs. So even though the if you go off quotes from the Bible to live life as you do to tell me to not have sexy, then I can kill my partners ex for cheating by throwing rocks at her repeatedly. Also I. Can buy myself a slave to do all. My house work for Me

  2. Pastor Paul

    January 14, 2015 at 4:02 pm


    That is the burden of government assistance, it penalizes those who take it for living moral lives.

    As to the quotes from the bible. Stoning was carried out by the government to be legal after a fair trial just as we do not send people to jail without a trial today. That is why Jesus stopped the mob execution of the woman caught in adultery.

    Slavery was not the same then as we understand it today. What is more similar would be to pay a maid to do your housework for you.

    As for sex. You decide if you should handle it God’s way or yours.